Application to date my daughter

I have a friend from church, Ann, whose daughter blogs. I can't remember how exactly I came across her blog but it's been fun to read. She's a cute, college-age girl and I love to read her fun stories. She posted this and I LOVED it, so I had to share!

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Application to Date My Daughter

Name:______________________________ Date of Birth: __/____/____

Height:_______ Weight:_______ IQ:______ GPA:_______ Top Running Speed:____

Social Security #:__________________ Temple Recommend Expires: ____/_____/_____

Do you have one Male and one Female parent? ________ if "no" please explain:

Number of years parents married: _______ Do you have any brothers or sisters? ______ Are they normal? ______________

Do you own or have access to any of the following?

Van________ Water bed _________ Truck with over sized wheels _______

Do you have any earring, nose ring, belly ring or any other type of ring, stud, or bar anywhere on your body? ___________ Do you have a tattoo? _______

In 50 words or less, what does "Don't touch my daughter" mean to you?

In 50 words or less, give me your definition of real pain:

In your opinion, what time does the Holy Ghost go to bed? ________________

Ward you attend: ______________ How often? S M T W Th F S

When would be a good time to interview your father, mother, and bishop?

Please fill in the blanks:

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be _____________

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be _______________

A woman's place is _________________

The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ________________

When I meet a girl, the first thing I look at is _________________

(If the answer to the above question is somewhere below her neck, leave the premises now, keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion)

What I want to do if I grow up is ______________

I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture, or mental abuse.

Signature of Applicant:___________________________________

Signature of Father:_____________________________________

Signature of Mother:_____________________________________

Signature of Bishop:_____________________________________

Signature of the Prophet:__________________________________

Thank you for your interest in my daughter. Please allow 4-6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing to set up a lie detector test if approved. If denied, please never apply again.