Winter Poem

Mom fwd this to me after she got it from a friend. It's not quite this bad yet, but I feel it coming...
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It's winter in Utah
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At thirty-five below.

Oh, how I love Utah
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Utah
I'm frozen to the friggin' ground!